Thursday, December 06, 2007

"Do you know who I am".

While in Cardiff yesterday, a press release fell into my possession. In concerns the recent 'frisking' of Lib Dem AM, Eleanor Burnham at Cardiff Airport, an indignity to which the attractive flamboyant brunette bitterly objected. I wasn't going to make any reference to the author of this document. Far be it from me to spread discord in the Lib Dem camp. Assembly cleaner, Edna Mopbucket, has already reported to me that she's heard the most frightful rows coming out of Lib Dem group. Apparently, the meetings usually end with two AMs in floods of tears, Two AMs arguing over Mike German's retirement date, Mike himself playing 'I,m The Leader, Ha, Ha, Ha' on the piano, and one singing Bob Dylan songs to himself in the corner. But I see that the Western Mail has speculated on which of this happy little group is the author. I thought you might like to read it.

"DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM?"

AM says she was left feeling 'grubby' after transport staff failed to show sufficient deference.

A Welsh politician has told how 'draconian' staff throughout the Welsh transport system have left her feeling 'grubby' after failing to bow and scrape to her during journeys between North Wales and the Assembly building in Cardiff.

North Wales AM, Eleanor Burnham, has demanded that staff on Arriva Trains and at Cardiff Wales Airport should be retrained so that they know how to deal with senior politicians such as herself.

She has produced a catalogue of incidents throughout the seven years she has been an Assembly Member to back up her claim. These include: staff refusing to clear railway carriages so that she might have an uninterrupted journey; A failure to earmark a a toilet on trains for her personal use during journeys; not diverting buses so as to drop her outside the front door of her Wrexham home when train connections are cancelled; making her carry her own bags; subjecting her to security checks just because she's carrying a bag marked 'Bomb'; and refusing to provide a VIP waitress service on trains when she is travelling.

"Its bad enough that I have to travel to Cardiff every week for meetings" said Mrs Burnham. "The £46,000 that I am paid does not even go halfway to compensate me for having to endure these journeys. I am a very busy person and very very important. It is only right that staff on our transport system recognise the fact and give me the special treatment that I require".

"It is time that the Transport Minister got a grip. He should tell train companies, airlines and airports to give AMs the priority that our position requires".

Asked to comment on Mrs Burnham's allegations, A British transport official said "Eleanor Who?"

7 comments:

Ordovicius said...

Making fun of the Monarchy is one thing, but making fun of Eleanor, really, I mean is NOTHING sacred?

Dr. Christopher Wood (avatar: "Farscape") said...

Well done Glyn for posting the whole piece! Personally, “I am only just recovering from the hilarity of the gag myself. It is most … swift … in it’s rapier like subtlety…” - mutated from Red Dwarf’s Timeslides [sic].

Glyn Davies said...

Don't know why Peter Black doesn't claim authorship. Its that good. I wish Eleanor didn't get so upset about these things though. Takes the fun out of it. Edna Mopbucket was telling me that she's been in a bad way over it.

Valleys Mam said...

you did I will have a peep Glyn -
here I am peeping
some people just cannot take a joke
I would have had him back
Where has the fun gone

Anonymous said...

"Do you know who I am?"

Ru the Peter Black who has recently updated his Facebook status to "is lying low"?

Glyn Davies said...

I think Peter said that he couldn't add anything that would ameliorate the position. I'm sure that silence was indeed the best option. Another Lib Dem wound for time to heal.

Dr. Christopher Wood (avatar: "Farscape") said...

It's one aspect of Peter Black that I kind of look up to and admire; Peter's willingness to at least put down his thoughts on paper even if it ruffles a few feathers. I like this outspoken-bit of Peter Black even if I poke fun at it sometimes!
PS ... I am dropping "Farscape" as my nickname - to avoid inadvertently hitting anonymous - or maybe there was a glitch ...