Modern Language Skills

Been trying to master modern consultese. I'm but a down-to-earth Welsh farmer, but here goes.

'My production enterprise is committed to sharing best practice and passionate about facilitating appropriate skills through workshops and learning events around these issues, going forward, and across the piece. Monitoring, using a web based toolkit will empower users to drill down to assess local needs interactivity and knowledge transfer to ensure maximisation of utilisation of the means of production. Stakeholders will be fully engaged in a consultation exercise, breaking down barriers and pushing the envelope towards a seamless one-stop shop service. Safety and value for money will be paramount so we are investing a funding stream to put in place a supportive multidisciplinary team to head up this exciting upcoming project, going forward, providing local ownership with robust clinical governance. Doing nothing is not an option. Subject to independent review, lessons will be learnt, accountability transparentised to commissioners, providers and service users to ensure that delivery failures will never happen again.'

In other words - I'm running our family business just the same as my family has done for many decades!

Thanks go to Barry Moyse and the Telegraph