This morning I saw 3 truly beautiful deer browsing on a hedge - and the most beautiful thing about them was that they were several miles away from our garden. Regular readers will know of the angst caused to me and Mrs D when these voracious Bambis took a liking to our exotic bamboos and special oaks, earlier in the year. Well, since I found the best way to deal with this growing problem - and feel that I have a duty to share it with you.
As the angst dominated every social discussion I was involved in a few weeks back, I was inundated with possible solutions, which usually included Colditz like fences. Most innovative of all was a proposal, delivered with the viciousness which only a fellow sufferer could generate, was that I should deposit small heaps of Tiger S**t at strategic points around the boundary. Since this commodity is in short supply in Montgomeryshire, I was forced to come up with an alternative. In last weekend's Telegraph, Sue Hancock from Sussex suggested Wright's Coal Tar Soap hung in pop socks. Jennifer Bell from Lostwithiel suggested rags dipped in creosote hanging from the fence. Glyn Leaman from Bristol had success with a mains operated ultrasonic 'animal chaser' on a frequently varied time switch. Most common suggestions were a variety of barbed wire fence formats, or aluminium ammonia sulphate, which causes such a stink that no living creature would be willing to set foot in the garden.
Well, all I did was put a transistor radio out in the garden overnight - and problem gone. The deer couldn't stand the sound of the BBC. So John Humphrys (and Rhun ap Iorwerth if I try to fool them by switching to Radio Cymru) are more off putting than Tiger S**t. And thats empirically proven.