Not fit to lead

So Kevin Rudd is a man of straw. The squeaky clean, church going, self proclaimed family man who plans to replace John Howard as Prime Minister of Australia has been caught out touring the strip clubs of New York. From reading reports of Rudd's nocturnal activities, it became obvious that he is unfit for high office. He is reported as saying that he did not have "a completely clear recollection of whether there were semi-naked women in the club or what they were doing". Well, in my opinion, any man with that sort of defective eyesight is simply too different from the stereotype Australian male, who defies 20 foot crocodiles and eats snakes for breakfast, to lead such a great nation.

Mind you, his self confessed 'failings' will probably help him become elected. We've all read of the response of his political opponents when an aged LordPalmeston was discovered to be enjoying the ministrations of a 'second' mistress. There was a determination not to allow the rumour to spread, because it would have ensured that the old dog would have 'swept the country'.

This reminds me of an occasion when I was in the company of a Liberal Democrat MP/friend some years ago. I'd met him in the Charing Cross area, walking out of the station in a state of absolute despair. "What is the trouble dear friend" said I. "Disaster" was the sad reply. "We are going to be annihilated in the polls and the forthcoming election". After much shaking of the head he added "Paddy has been caught - having an affair, and tomorrow's newspapers are going to expose it (so to speak, much as Paddy had clearly done)" I smiled, and patted my friend on the arm in a reassuring way, and said, "Well, he's so bloody insufferably pompous and self satisfied, that his poll ratings will probably rise when the nation discovers that he's been having a bit on the side - not that I approve of course." And so it came to pass. The following morning's headline in The Sun was "Its Paddy Pantsdown". The nation howled with laughter, and the Lib Dems poll ratings went up 2%. But then Paddy was renowned for his excellent eyesight. No way he wouldn't have recognised a semi naked woman if there was one gyrating around a pole in front of hi eyes. Rudd has got a lot to learn.