Tuesday, September 18, 2007

The Python Squeeze

Don't know what they feed our cricket captains on - but it must be some damn good stuff. Remember Freddie, when he was vice - captain almost drowning when he went for a pedalo ride at 3 o'clock in the morning before a test match. And then there was Gatting who was caught doing some nets with a hotel waitress as his unique way of preparing for the next days exertions. Well now our latest skipper, Paul Collingwood is living down to the Botham/Warne standard of alternative big match preparation.

Our newest Twenty/20 Captain Collingwood decided to prepare for the big game against the Springboks last weekend by visiting a lap dancing club six hours before he led his team out to play the crucial game. I heard this story on 5 Live today, when it was reported that Collingwood has learned lessons from his experience - and had apologised for what he'd done. It wasn't made clear if he was apologising for going to the club, or for it being just six hours before the match. Perhaps ten hours before would have been OK.

Anyway, Collingwood must have still been thinking of the 'Python Squeeze' when he left his middle stump unprotected, and lost his wicket first ball. I have not the slightest doubt that Shane Warne would have smacked it for six in the same circumstances - even if he'd been calling at the ground on the way home from the club with an empty bottle in our hand and a pythonesque thong in the other. I wonder what Mrs Collingwood thought of this story. Don't suppose he'll score many in the next game either, if he has a text from her just before he goes out to bat.

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