Both the Telegraph and the Western Mail are reporting today that police sniffer dogs may have to wear 'bootees' when searching the homes of Muslims. Many Muslims regard dogs as being unclean and it is thought that unshod canines searching their homes for drugs and explosives would cause offence. This may well have unforeseen consequences if there happens to be a tortoise in the house.
Last Saturday, someone called VL emailed the Telegraph's pet expert about a problem with his/her 30 year old tortoise. Apparently, the creature makes a nuisance of itself by trying to have sex with shoes. This causes particular embarrassment when strangers visit. I understand this problem. My mother-in-law used to have a West Highland Terrier named Archie, which occasionally performed what she called 'actions' with visitors legs. This caused her acute embarrassment.
Now I'm no pet expert, but I'd have thought that the best advice would have been to go buy a lady tortoise, and give her a good covering with boot polish before introducing her to the problem male. But the Telegraph's pet expert suggested that when visitors arrived, the poor old tortoise should be locked away in a cupboard. Lets hope it wasn't the shoe cupboard.