Monday, July 07, 2008

Multi-purpose Footwear

Both the Telegraph and the Western Mail are reporting today that police sniffer dogs may have to wear 'bootees' when searching the homes of Muslims. Many Muslims regard dogs as being unclean and it is thought that unshod canines searching their homes for drugs and explosives would cause offence. This may well have unforeseen consequences if there happens to be a tortoise in the house.

Last Saturday, someone called VL emailed the Telegraph's pet expert about a problem with his/her 30 year old tortoise. Apparently, the creature makes a nuisance of itself by trying to have sex with shoes. This causes particular embarrassment when strangers visit. I understand this problem. My mother-in-law used to have a West Highland Terrier named Archie, which occasionally performed what she called 'actions' with visitors legs. This caused her acute embarrassment.

Now I'm no pet expert, but I'd have thought that the best advice would have been to go buy a lady tortoise, and give her a good covering with boot polish before introducing her to the problem male. But the Telegraph's pet expert suggested that when visitors arrived, the poor old tortoise should be locked away in a cupboard. Lets hope it wasn't the shoe cupboard.

6 comments:

Anonymous said...

Not all dogs are classified as 'unclean', but with one exception, The Saluki. This long dog/sight hound is revered by muslims and given the accolade - which it shares with falcons and the arabian horse - of 'El Hor' (The noble ones). Sadly the police cannot use Saluki's, as they are not deep scenting at all, plus their tails are very fine and would be damaged also.

Glyn Davies said...

anon - I was so astounded by your comment that I checked it out on wikipedia - and for those who doubt what you write, I can confirm that its entirely true. I was also interested to read the the Saluki is probably faster than a greyhound, but it cannot be proven because it will not chase an electric hare. So its got brains as well.

ROMAN JONES Esq. said...

It seems that 'giving offence' is now the greatest offence known to Man. Where art thou common sense?

Glyn Davies said...

Roman - I do agree - but at least in this case, the sheer ridiculousness does bring with it a modicum of amusement.

Anonymous said...

experts can never see the obvious solution. i read your blog for montgomeryshire common sense. bring on the 'lady tortoises' i say.

Anonymous said...

Glyn, its not really "sheer ridiculousness" is it? Have a think about it. Different people have different standards. Our Police should always attempt to be sensitive and polite providing that doesn't undermine their work. If you are entering someone's home you should respect them. That is a basic British value.