In today's Telegraph Review, Tom Horan has listed Tommy Cooper's best 10 gags. I never did think has jokes were very funny. It was just the way he told them. He made me laugh by just walking onto the stage. Anyway here's the best five.
"I've got the best wife in England. The other one's in Africa."
One morning she got up with curlers in her hair, cream all over her face, wearing an old dressing gown, and went to take the rubbish out - and when she saw the rubbish lorry moving away, she shouted 'Hey, am I too late'? And the dustman said 'No - jump in'.
This fellow knocked at the door and said 'Hello. Is Charlie in'? The woman replied 'Charlie died last night'. The fellow said 'He didn't say anything about a pot of paint did he?'
The other week, I had to share my dressing room with a monkey. The producer came in and said 'I'm sorry about this'. I said 'That's OK.' He said 'I wasn't talking to you.'
My uncle was 83 and wanted to marry a girl of 19. The doctor said 'This could be fatal'. He said 'If she dies, she dies!'
I said it was the way he told 'em. Les Dawson could tell these jokes as well, but I always preferred Tommy Cooper.