Saturday, September 26, 2009

Tommy Cooper's Best Gags.

In today's Telegraph Review, Tom Horan has listed Tommy Cooper's best 10 gags. I never did think has jokes were very funny. It was just the way he told them. He made me laugh by just walking onto the stage. Anyway here's the best five.

"I've got the best wife in England. The other one's in Africa."

One morning she got up with curlers in her hair, cream all over her face, wearing an old dressing gown, and went to take the rubbish out - and when she saw the rubbish lorry moving away, she shouted 'Hey, am I too late'? And the dustman said 'No - jump in'.

This fellow knocked at the door and said 'Hello. Is Charlie in'? The woman replied 'Charlie died last night'. The fellow said 'He didn't say anything about a pot of paint did he?'

The other week, I had to share my dressing room with a monkey. The producer came in and said 'I'm sorry about this'. I said 'That's OK.' He said 'I wasn't talking to you.'

My uncle was 83 and wanted to marry a girl of 19. The doctor said 'This could be fatal'. He said 'If she dies, she dies!'

I said it was the way he told 'em. Les Dawson could tell these jokes as well, but I always preferred Tommy Cooper.

4 comments:

Uncle Bob said...

I don't think we'll ever see a comic like him again, he was my hero as a small boy. My nan even bought me a fez. And I just read those jokes and they were funny...then I thought about how Cooper would deliver them and they became hilarious.

Tcoah said...

"Simply the Best" humour - timeless and always in good spirt.

Penddu said...

My favorite was
Patient: 'Doctor - It hurts when I do this..'

Doctor: 'Well stop doing it!'

Classic

Anonymous said...

Sorry, but I never thought Tommy Cooper was funny at all.
I mean his jokes were hopelessly corny and as old as Methusalah's grandpa.
It's true a Tommy Cooper audience will laugh at bloody well anything he does...including him dying on stage.
I watched in horror Cooper's last performance on You Tube when he slumped to the floor with a fatal heart attack.
The stupid audience continued to giggle even when it was obvious something was terribly wrong.
I screamed will someone please help the poor man?