The Catwalk Beckons

Stephanie and I are discussing how well I carry off the luxury Italian moleskin trousers and North Coast casual top that I was trying out at Marks and Spencers, Shrewsbury this morning. Must tell you how this came to pass. Now, I don't wish to seem unconfident as we approach the general election, but I do accept that victory is not necessarily a dead cert. I may need an alternative career if the worst befalls us. And I've read somewhere that male models earn good money. OK, laugh unkindly and snort derisively if you must, but stranger things have happened.

This morning Mrs Lillian Beddoes invited me to make my debut on the catwalk in a fashion show at Montgomery Town Hall on September 15th. Must admit my first thought was "this must be a wind-up". But no. The invite was for real. And it gets better. She informed me that her commission had been to search out a man of good build, well known locally and good looking "How can this be?" I said. "I'm built like a bullock, 5' 10" tall with a waistline that has surreptitiously crept out to 38", an inside leg the same as Roy Noble's (just 29"), a face as craggy as General Sir Mike Jackson, and a colostomy unbalancing my belt-line". None of these significant imperfections seemed to bother Lillian at all.

By mid-day I was being dressed by Stephanie in Menswear. "We've dressed many worse" she said in what I took to be a complimentary tone. Even if I say it myself, I did look the business in the sandy Collezione suit with cream shirt and matching tie - 'The Wedding Outfit'. I didn't try on 'The Beach Outfit' but it consists of navy 'chino' shorts with tight fitting T-shirt. I suppose it will be sunglasses and flip-flops as well. I did feel a touch offended when Mrs D drew extended amusement from this, and immediately sold several tickets to her golfing friends by text. She predicts a sell out. This reaction of nearest and dearest set alarm bells ringing. Don't think I'll tell the local press about it. And then it was time for the luxury Italian moleskin trousers together with the North Coast top - 'The Casual Outfit'. They fitted like a glove. Stephanie must have been impressed because she said "They were designed especially for you sir. I can see what Lilian saw". My modelling career has taken its first tentative step forward. Only a month to polish up the pecs and redefine the six pack. Catwalk here I come.