Put those lights out.

Edna Mopbucket has always loved the traditions of Christmas. More than anything she loves Christmas tree lights. Every year one of her favourite jobs is the annual pre-Christmas clean up after the staff party at Powys Council Offices at Llandrindod Wells. But this year it was so different. She rang me late last night very upset and in a state of shock. This is what had happened.

Edna thought she was all alone. She'd done an hours cleaning, and was taking a break. Mistletoe in her buttonhole. Told me that she'd been hoping to bump into Councillor Bob Mills, or the verrrry handsome new Tory Councillor, Aled Davies. She'd helped herself to one of several part bottles of bubbly she'd found stashed away in the offices, and was just leaning back in contemplative mood watching the tree lights twinkle and dance. Later she would sit in the Chief Executive's chair and dream. Life didn't get much better than this for Edna, the humble cleaner.

And then she heard this strange sound reverberating through the building. At first she thought it was an animal on the loose, rampaging through the offices, roaring like a Titi monkey. It got closer. Then the door burst open, and in strode a tall, handsome, balding, muscular figure who looked the spitting image of the Chief Executive. The eyes were on fire, and he was screaming something like "I'm a sea captain, a man of action. They will do as I say. This is war. We must not let them win. Put those lights out. Christmas is cancelled." He was crashing around with a club, smashing all the Christmas tree lights to smithereens. After he'd gone Edna just sat there quietly in the dark, before ringing me to tell her of such strange goings on.

I was inclined to put the call down to post bubbly rambling - until I read the email that Mark Kerr, the Chief Executive had sent to all staff. It reads;

"I know that lots of you will have erected Christmas trees in the office to mark the festive season. It is always cheering to see these and other Christmas decorations, and I have no wish to limit people's enjoyment of them...........it is inappropriate for us to draw from the same electricity supply as the street lights to light up our Christmas trees. Could I ask you therefore not to light up your Christmas trees from the main electricity supply in your offices, except during special occasions such as 'Secret Santa' events."

Now I'm wondering what goes on at these 'Secret Santa' events which take place in County Hall !!